By 40

This past week I turned 40. As a kid growing up, this was a huge deal and I remember adults dreading this birthday. Front yards would be decorated with "Over the Hill" signs and parties would have guests arriving in black.

 In recent years, the tides have shifted, and now turning 40 is a celebration. If you think about it, going "Over the Hill" should be celebrated. You've made it this far, so why not celebrate? Weeks before my birthday had me reflecting on lessons I've learned over the years. Some as a child and others just recently.

 Here are 40 things I've learned by 40.

 1. Be a person of your word. If you say you're going to do something or be somewhere, follow through! No one likes to be around people who constantly cancel or change plans to suit them.

 2. Let people know they're valued. God spoke over all of us and we all have value. No one is less than the other.

 3. Don't take things personally. Once in a meeting my boss passed out a Q-Tip to everyone and gave us this acronym: Q-TIP = Quit Taking It Personally. Really, it's more about them, not you.

 4. I'm imperfect. I'm enough. I've learned to embrace my imperfections as gifts. I'll never have the looks of a model or be the smartest person in the room. However, I know that I have something to offer.

 5. It's always the right time for ice cream.

 6. Life is full of plot twists. It's what makes our story. Nobody has a perfect life story.

 7. Hurt, sorrow, disappointment will always weave into our story. Don't let these moments define you.

 8. Take time to listen. Really listen. My mom instilled in us that when we listen, we learn. Over the years, I've noticed that people either give the illusion of listening or keep talking over you.

 9. Parenting isn't for the weak. I've been parenting for the last 10 years and it's tough!

 10. Teaching isn't for the weak either. I'm in my 11th year of teaching, and I learn something new all the time. Especially patience!

 11. It's perfectly alright to say "no" and not explain. Setting boundaries is healthy.

 12. Don't apologize for your kids. They chose the behavior, not you. I get so tired of parents who apologize for what their child chose to do while their child stands there. What lesson does that teach them?

 13. You're free to make any choice you want, but you're not free from the consequences.

 14. Comparison is the thief of joy. This is one I've recently learned, and it's a big one.

 15. Not saying the last word is having the last word. In college I lived in a sorority house. That's a lot of drama! More than once I had to learn to walkaway.

 16. "Me time" is always needed. Being alone helps me recharge. Sometimes it's just reading or even running errands alone. It gives me time to think and process what's going on in my life.

 17. Being weird is just fine. Learn to embrace it! Why should we all be carbon copies?

 18. If you can laugh at it, you can live with it.

 19. You can never have too many friends. My parents taught this to us from an early age. It's wonderful to have friends from childhood that I still love to spend time with.

 20. Be proud of your failures. It means your tried. I've failed many times, but I'd rather say I tried than played it safe.

 21. Stay humble.

 22. Know your roots. I was told of our heritage from an early age and the value to traditions.

 23. Family - blood or not- is everything. 

24. Words - spoken or written- are powerful. Use caution.

 25. Speaking of...learn to speak up when needed.

 26. I'm my daughter's first teacher. They are always watching me on how to respond to situations or just living life. I set the example.

 27. Drink lots of water.

 28. It's okay to show emotion. As humans we cry, get angry or frustrated. Don't let someone tell you to stop feeling.

 29. Be fully present.

 30. Meals at the dinner table create some wonderful memories. We try and eat dinner at the table every night. It's a great time to connect as a family.

 31. There's healing in laughter.

 32. Writing is therapy.

 33. Take time to relax and rejuvenate.

 34. Embrace change. Personally or professionally - it's inevitable.

 35. Dancing with your girlfriend's is the best! So many times I've danced with my friends at the club, in the living room, or in the middle of a store! They make some wonderful memories!

 36. Follow your passion.

 37. Hugs. Always lots of hugs.

 38. Don't half-ass it. My dad always said that work so hard that they'll notice when you're gone.

 39. Be a Girl Scout and come prepared to everything.

 40. You can't change the world. Make your little piece of the world a beautiful space to occupy.