Listen Up!

I listen to a lot of podcasts.  Like a lot. If you talk to me, chances are I'll mention something I heard on a podcast. And chances are you'll ask me what podcast I listen to. Without further a do, here are the podcasts:

Happier with Gretchen Rubin: This is a great self-help podcast. She delves into happiness and habits and how to make our life well...happier. She's the author of many books: Better Than Before, The Happiness Project, The Four Tendencies. She hosts it with her sister.

Happier in Hollywood: This is a spin-off from Happier that is hosted by Liz Craft and Sara Fain. They're both TV writers and focus on how to survive the working world in Hollywood.  They also talk about how to balance work and family.

Super Soul Conversations: This is hosted by Oprah. The Oprah. It's the audio recording of her Super Soul Sunday TV series.  She interviews a wide range of people and gives me a sense of nostalgia from her Oprah Winfrey Show days.

The Other "F" Word: Hosted by some psychologists and therapists, they have people share their experiences of dealing with failure.

Royally Obsessed: If you love the royal family like me, this is for you. The hosts discuss current royal events.  I'll admit that the hosts can sound a bit valley girl, but I love it. 

Pop Culture Happy Hour: This is a 2 episode per week show. They have a round table discussion on movies, television, music, etc.  I love it because I listen about topics I may have not given the time of day and some convince me I need to check it out.

Armchair Expert: If you love Dax Shepard you'll love this. He hosts it and interviews his friends and family.  This one is a bit lengthy, but it makes you feel like you're a fly on the wall.

Wait...Wait...Don't Tell Me: This is a weekly show on NPR. They have a panel of comedians and discuss current events from the week. They also interview a celebrity and play a few trivia games.

Slow Burn: This show isn't on all the time. However, their first season covering Watergate was fascinating. Season 2 is going to cover the Clinton White Water scandal.  I'm sure it won't disappoint!

So when do I listen to all of these?  Mostly while getting ready each morning. Since most episodes are range from 20 - 40 minutes, it's perfect timing.  If I'm by myself driving, I'll turn them on.  During the school year, I listen to them during my plan time while I'm working or at the copier. I make sure to use my ear buds so I don't annoy anyone!

If you have an iPhone, you have a podcast app on your phone.  You can search by show or by a topic.  Take some time and check them out!

Yes, I'll Be Your Neighbor

Yesterday, I saw the documentary "Won't You Be My Neighbor?" with some friends. If you're unfamiliar, it's about the children's program "Mr. Rogers Neighborhood" and it' creator Fred Rogers. I'm a child of the 80's and remember fondly watching this show.

 From the opening scene to it's closure, the entire theater was quiet and you could feel and see everyone was going back to their childhood.

Mr. Rogers message to children was that they were important. He truly was an advocate for young children.  He seemed to validate what they were feeling and addressed issues that most adults shy away from.  He discussed issues from assassinations to school shootings and did it a loving, patient way.  He didn't blame anyone or make kids feel ashamed for what they were feeling at that moment.

Another message he carried throughout the series was self-acceptance.  He wanted kids to be comfortable in their own skin.  He believed that we were all created as originals and we were special because of that.  He had many kids (and adults) with disabilities on his shows and the first thing I noticed when watching the clips was the feeling of authentic acceptance and kindness he showed.  He gave them his full attention and not once used sarcasm about their disabilities towards them.

This has me thinking, what if we all acted this way?  What if we all showed everyone kindness, acceptance and value?   During this day and age, I feel like we've lost the meaning of the adage "Love Thy Neighbor." Why is it so hard to just show kindness like Fred Rogers? Why are we teaching hate instead of teaching love?

Mr. Rogers wasn't naive with what was happening in the world, but he valued everyone, especially children.  Years ago, he received some backlash that he told his audience they were special too much. That hearing this gave us a sense of entitlement.  I'm a product of his show and I know that I don't feel entitled because of the show messages.  He did address this issue in a commencement speech and said when he said we were special it meant we can do anything and it doesn't have to be sensational. Just being us is being special in the world.

Needless to say, the show left me in tears. I miss him. The world today needs someone like him to talk with kids and adults (his formers kids) to let us know that what we are feeling is validated.  There's no shame in feeling scared, sad, angry, or happy.

I'll leave you with the lyrics to one of his songs, "It's You I Like."  I want you all to know that you are valued and validated.

It's You I Like

Written by Fred Rogers | © 1971, Fred M. Rogers

It's you I like,
It's not the things you wear,
It's not the way you do your hair
But it's you I like
The way you are right now,
The way down deep inside you
Not the things that hide you,
Not your toys
They're just beside you.

But it's you I like
Every part of you.
Your skin, your eyes, your feelings
Whether old or new.
I hope that you'll remember
Even when you're feeling blue
That it's you I like,
It's you yourself
It's you.
It's you I like.

 I've said it before that we've all been spoken over by God.  We are all here for a reason and I hope you use your reason to spread love instead of hate. 

It's a Small World After All

In recent weeks, I've been watching our country's government make some questionable decisions. I've seen our President meet with dictators and actually said it was an honor to work with them. Really?  Hitler and Stalin once liked each other and we know how that turned out.   

This past week, I've seen families attempting to coming into the United States for various reasons be separated. When asked why the White House pointed fingers at the opposing party.  Does this solve anything? I have a pretty good bullshit meter and it's going off the charts right now. 

Let me be clear, separating families is wrong.

I'm a mother, and my children know I'd move mountains for them when it comes to their safety and security. Wouldn't you as a parent? What I see in our government is a lack of empathy. What I see is a government creating more trauma for children as well as their parents.  Does anyone remember the workhouses? They also separated families.  Does anyone remember the concentration camps?  They also separated families. Neither of these ended well for anyone and the trauma experienced from the few survivors stayed with them.

I'm scared for the path our country is headed.  My hope is the U.S. government wakes up to know that they don't speak for all of us and we demand they listen to their constituents. It's also time for us, as constituents, to speak up louder. We can no longer whisper.

My family and I recently visited Disney World. They say it's the happiest place on earth, and that may be true. Watching my children become excited to see their favorite characters or experience a new ride was a joy for me. One of our favorite family rides was "It's a Small World", and we rode it multiple times. If you've been there you know the ride as it's a must do while inside the Magic Kingdom. 

As we were riding through I was listening to the song that the children sing throughout the ride:

It's a world of laughter,

A world of tears.

It's a world of hopes,

And a world of fears.

There's so much that we share,

That it's time we're aware,

It's a small world after all.

We as human beings share all the same emotions, feelings, and experiences whether is happy or horrific. We need to more aware and show empathy towards others. 

There's a quote Clay and I live by: Everyone is fighting a battle you know nothing about. Be kind to everyone.

Dear Mr. President, start showing kindness, empathy and love. Because all I see is hate.

Am I Making an Impact?

Have you ever been inside a school during the last few days of the year? It's a strong mix of emotions.  One minute you're tearing up at the thought of your students moving, and the next minute you're questioning your career path.

Yesterday was one of "those" days.

I came home and sat in silence. Contemplating why I'm still teaching. Am I making an impact? We all know Oklahoma teachers aren't in it for the income. However, we are in it for the outcome.

Then a strange thing happened. I got on good ol' Facebook to distract my mind and saw the answer.  My (former) kids and parents were posting left and right all of the accomplishments their children had made this year.  Here's just a few of the celebrations I read:

• Chosen as the high school yearbook editor next year
• Accepted into an engineering academy 
• Winning student council elections
• Making the cheer/pom squad and varsity sports
• Making straight A's
• Enjoying their college years 

Can you say tears? Reading these made me realize that I am making an impact. Once again, God showed me what I needed to see.

Parenting

Parenting.  No handbook, no instructions and each time you think it have it figured out, life throws you a curveball to keep you grounded. I’m no expert on parenting and struggle just like everyone else in hoping I’m doing something right.  

Here are some things I’ve learned by being a parent for the last 10 years:

1. They watch your every move and listen to everything you say.

While in Wal-Mart the other day, I commented on how the company is upping their   clothing game. Ever since then, she’s been using that phrase. Their internal tape recorders are always on so speak with caution.

2. Appreciation for my parents

Growing up and especially through my teenage years, I thought I knew better than them. I was wrong and they were right. I admit it. So, Mom, if you’re reading this, thank you.

3. Exhaustion is a vicious cycle

Kids keep you up at night.  You’re always thinking of their well being. Always. Which in turn leaves you exhausted physically and mentally.  

4. Expect the unexpected

Like I said before, kids don’t come with handbooks. With my second kid, I thought I had all the answers. NOPE! She’s completely different from my oldest.

5. Show them accountability

If you know me, you know that I don’t apologize for my kids. I make them apologize for themselves.  They hate it. But you know what? They’re better people for it and they will know own up for their actions. If you apologize for the actions of you kid, STOP.

6. Communication is key

These days it’s more important than ever to talk to your kids.  We hear it a lot, but it’s really true. They have to know that you’re there for them and you’re listening. Honestly, if more parents just listened and talked with their kids I think many things going in the world might go away.

7. Show them kindness

If they watch you showing acts of kindness towards them and others, they’ll follow suit.  

8. It’s okay to be weird

Show them to be authentic.

9. Patience

Think of all those things you have to teach your child different skills: dressing, tying shoes, brushing teeth, school work, etc. It tested all every ounce of patience I had. If you tell me you were fine, you’re not being honest with yourself.

10. It’s harder than it looks

See all your friends posting pictures of their perfect families that seem to lead perfect lives? They’re lying. Plain and simple. Every parent knows raising a kid is difficult!

Overall, being a parent has taught me unconditional love and putting others before myself.  I mean, this is another human! Show them grace. Show them mercy. Above all show them how to lead a life worth living.

By 40

This past week I turned 40. As a kid growing up, this was a huge deal and I remember adults dreading this birthday. Front yards would be decorated with "Over the Hill" signs and parties would have guests arriving in black.

 In recent years, the tides have shifted, and now turning 40 is a celebration. If you think about it, going "Over the Hill" should be celebrated. You've made it this far, so why not celebrate? Weeks before my birthday had me reflecting on lessons I've learned over the years. Some as a child and others just recently.

 Here are 40 things I've learned by 40.

 1. Be a person of your word. If you say you're going to do something or be somewhere, follow through! No one likes to be around people who constantly cancel or change plans to suit them.

 2. Let people know they're valued. God spoke over all of us and we all have value. No one is less than the other.

 3. Don't take things personally. Once in a meeting my boss passed out a Q-Tip to everyone and gave us this acronym: Q-TIP = Quit Taking It Personally. Really, it's more about them, not you.

 4. I'm imperfect. I'm enough. I've learned to embrace my imperfections as gifts. I'll never have the looks of a model or be the smartest person in the room. However, I know that I have something to offer.

 5. It's always the right time for ice cream.

 6. Life is full of plot twists. It's what makes our story. Nobody has a perfect life story.

 7. Hurt, sorrow, disappointment will always weave into our story. Don't let these moments define you.

 8. Take time to listen. Really listen. My mom instilled in us that when we listen, we learn. Over the years, I've noticed that people either give the illusion of listening or keep talking over you.

 9. Parenting isn't for the weak. I've been parenting for the last 10 years and it's tough!

 10. Teaching isn't for the weak either. I'm in my 11th year of teaching, and I learn something new all the time. Especially patience!

 11. It's perfectly alright to say "no" and not explain. Setting boundaries is healthy.

 12. Don't apologize for your kids. They chose the behavior, not you. I get so tired of parents who apologize for what their child chose to do while their child stands there. What lesson does that teach them?

 13. You're free to make any choice you want, but you're not free from the consequences.

 14. Comparison is the thief of joy. This is one I've recently learned, and it's a big one.

 15. Not saying the last word is having the last word. In college I lived in a sorority house. That's a lot of drama! More than once I had to learn to walkaway.

 16. "Me time" is always needed. Being alone helps me recharge. Sometimes it's just reading or even running errands alone. It gives me time to think and process what's going on in my life.

 17. Being weird is just fine. Learn to embrace it! Why should we all be carbon copies?

 18. If you can laugh at it, you can live with it.

 19. You can never have too many friends. My parents taught this to us from an early age. It's wonderful to have friends from childhood that I still love to spend time with.

 20. Be proud of your failures. It means your tried. I've failed many times, but I'd rather say I tried than played it safe.

 21. Stay humble.

 22. Know your roots. I was told of our heritage from an early age and the value to traditions.

 23. Family - blood or not- is everything. 

24. Words - spoken or written- are powerful. Use caution.

 25. Speaking of...learn to speak up when needed.

 26. I'm my daughter's first teacher. They are always watching me on how to respond to situations or just living life. I set the example.

 27. Drink lots of water.

 28. It's okay to show emotion. As humans we cry, get angry or frustrated. Don't let someone tell you to stop feeling.

 29. Be fully present.

 30. Meals at the dinner table create some wonderful memories. We try and eat dinner at the table every night. It's a great time to connect as a family.

 31. There's healing in laughter.

 32. Writing is therapy.

 33. Take time to relax and rejuvenate.

 34. Embrace change. Personally or professionally - it's inevitable.

 35. Dancing with your girlfriend's is the best! So many times I've danced with my friends at the club, in the living room, or in the middle of a store! They make some wonderful memories!

 36. Follow your passion.

 37. Hugs. Always lots of hugs.

 38. Don't half-ass it. My dad always said that work so hard that they'll notice when you're gone.

 39. Be a Girl Scout and come prepared to everything.

 40. You can't change the world. Make your little piece of the world a beautiful space to occupy.